Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
