So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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