Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
