Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
