It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
