I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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