You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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