he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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