I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
