Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
