I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
from now on my penis is your penis
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
