What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
