I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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