Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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