I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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