if you like me you must not know who I am
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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