i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize