1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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