they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I would fuck him just for his dog
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
