I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
