I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the day after is always just damage control
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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