so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
