Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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