How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
