I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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