So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it hurts more in the daytime
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
