You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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