Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
