Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
