I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
