dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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