My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
