This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
