what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
