When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
