it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
there is puke in my bra ... again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
