The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
