oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
