You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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