Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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