Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
