i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
