What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
