Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Randomize
