Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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