After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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