no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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