4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
