he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
