you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
